Diagnosing yourself on the internet…

DON’T DO IT!!!  This would be my biggest piece of advice.  It’s pretty much the worst thing you can do.  Go to the doctor and have a professional check you out.  Here is usually what happens when you go to the internet and diagnosis yourself.  You look up what’s wrong with you and you come away thinking that you either have a hangnail OR you have a rare disease only found in the remotest of remote areas in the world and you are going to die because there is no known cure for what you have.  The reason you come to these two conclusions is because somehow they both have the same symptoms!  Doctors train for years and years to become a doctor.  You however took a half hour to an hour out of your day to try and figure out what is making you feel ill or hurting.  Does anything seem wrong with that whole picture if you were to take a step back and look at it.  Sure you may go to the internet to look up a recipe or get your latest celebrity gossip but neither of those two are going to affect your health dramatically and possibly kill you…well actually I guess that depends on how well you can follow cooking instructions on a recipe.  But you see what I’m getting at.  I knew a guy once who I swear was a hypochondriac and diagnosed himself almost weekly and would come up with new shit that he might have.  Although funny, it was kind of annoying cause mother fucker would call out sick a lot!  If you haven’t already figured it out the internet is pretty much a bathroom wall, but now just in cyber space!  No you can’t physically write “for a good time call so and so”, no, now a days you can just find so and so and she probably charges you $2.99 a minute on her webpage for that “good time”.  Basically what I’m trying to get at is don’t believe everything you read on the internet especially when it comes to medical issues.  You will end up stressing yourself out over something that you think you might have that you found on the internet or worse yet, you might try to cure yourself of something you don’t even have.  There’s a reason people have to attend medical school for some many years.  If it were that easy to figure your ailments out there would be no need for doctors.  Me personally, I have found that I leaving webmd alone or any other medical websites is the best thing to do.  I’ll admit I’ve tried to look up what sickness I’ve had by my symptoms and by all accounts I should have one less leg. I thought I had some sort of flesh eating virus and since I figured I was probably going to lose the leg I decided to name the disease on my lower leg, Chompy and he became known as Chompy the flesh eating virus.  I even made people say “hi” to Chompy when they came to my desk to shoot the this with me.  Fortunately after seeing a doctor it turns out that I just had a severe allergic reaction to poison ivy.  My thought at the time was “Poison Ivy my ass…it was a flesh eating virus, I should know I looked it up on the internet!!!”

-Blue Collar Drifter

No Post today...

If anybody is reading my post, I won't have one for today Friday 10/08/10.  On the move again but should be back on Monday.  Thank you to those of you that read my post!!
-Blue Collar Drifter

You’re an asshole cause you’re an asshole…

I hate when people try to use the excuse for being an asshole as “what do you want I’m from the East Coast!"  New York, Jersey or where ever they’re from. Or “you just don’t get it, it’s an East Coast thing.”  No actually I do get it, you’re not an asshole because you’re from where ever you’re from, you’re an asshole cause you’re an asshole!!!  I’ve meet plenty of guys from the East Coast that are cool as hell.  Yeah, they have a bit of a rough around the edges East Coast personality about them but they are far from being assholes.  Actually they are the complete opposite, they are very entertaining and up front about their opinions and yet still manage to have manners and are polite.  To use where you’re from as an excuse is a cop out and just make’s where ever you’re from look bad having you represent them.  Now this doesn’t just go for the East Coast, I once had a friend tell me that she had a guy say, “What, I’m from the West Coast, we’re all a little douchey out there”…wow, talk about closing the deal!!  Hey buddy, way to rep the West Coast.  That dude should write a book and teach lessons on “how to be a douche bag and be ok with it.”  The bottom line is if you’re an asshole douche bag just accept that fact that you’re an asshole douche bag and don’t try and blame it on anything else.  Own it!  If you want to blame it on something blame it on your mom and dad for not raising you correctly.  Trust me you’re not as funny and witty as you think you are.  You may not be a hit with the ladies but hey, that’s why they invented internet porn!

-Blue Collar Drifter

I don’t drink yet everybody wants to get me drunk…

  Why is it that as soon as I tell people I don’t drink they get this look on their faces as if I just told them I have a 6th toe and I make candles out of ear wax.  Yeah, see…see that face you just made, that’s the one I get when I tell people that I don’t drink.  It doesn’t bother me it’s just kind of funny to me.  Then the questions come rolling in, “Why don’t you drink, for religious reasons?” “Do you just not drink EVER?”  “Have you ever had a beer before?”  People usually don’t ask the most obvious one that they really want to ask and that is “are you a recovering alcoholic?”  Now depending on how much badgering I get from people the answer varies.  Most of the time I’m just flat out honest with them which is…I just don’t like the taste of beer or alcohol and I can’t hold my liquor.  That’s it, no big secret or mystery.  Although I have used the “I’m a recovering alcoholic” before just because people wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone and kept trying to get me to drink.  The fact is I’m a shitty drunk, not an angry drunk, not a loud drunk but a “I want to go home and lay down” drunk, I’m a party pooper after I’ve been drinking, and sometimes it’s even worse, I’m that guy that’s puking in the corner.  Let me tell you, that’s always attractive and makes all the girls in the bar want to start lining up to come make out with you.  

  The funny thing is, usually about an hour or two after I’ve told people that I don’t drink that’s usually when people start in…Come on, just have one beer, you’ll be fine.  I probably will be fine but that’s not the point, the point is I just really don’t feel like having it.  Once again, not for any particular reason, I just don’t feel like it.  It really is as simple as that.  What’s even funnier is when I do get a wild hair up my ass and decide to have a beer, the people I’m with act like they’ve just seen Mother Theresa kick Gandhi in the balls!!!  They’re shocked yet laughing at the same time.  It’s really not that big of a deal people.  I’m curious though as to why it is that people want to get the person that doesn’t drink drunk.  I’ve heard this from other people that don’t drink that their friends always want them to do shots or drink beer or mixed drinks and get drunk also.  Why?  Do I not make a big enough ass out of myself when I’m not drinking?  Am I much more interesting when I’ve had a few cocktails in me?  Does it really make you that uncomfortable that I’m not drinking?  I once had a friend tell me “I don’t trust people that don’t drink”, he was kidding…I think.  I really don’t view it as a big deal that I don’t drink and I'm not saying they shouldn’t either.  Don’t get me wrong, some of these people I speak of are very good friends of mine and could care less if I drink or not, it’s usually the people that I’ve only know for a short time or meeting for the first time, such as a friends of friends.  Most of the time though it doesn’t bother me, but every once in a while it bugs the shit out of me.  When that happens I feel like just getting drunk and being the party pooper, who wants to go home and complains about being tired or better yet drink so much that I make myself puke and have them have to deal with me while in that state just to prove my point.  Trust me, after that experience, you’ll be the one taking the beer’s away from me and telling other people…“he doesn’t drink!”